"I don't drink blood and last time I looked in the mirror, I had a reflection, so I'm not going with the vampire theory."
- NICOLAS CAGEon the Late Show with David Letterman, addressing rampant Internet rumors that he is a vampire.
"You have anger. You have accusations. You have name-calling. Sure, let's add alcohol."
- DAVID LETTERMAN,late-night talk-show host, on President Barack Obama's invitation of Sergeant James Crowley and Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. to the White House for a beer. Crowley arrested Gates at his home last week
"I just learned Justin Bieber is my father."
- RICK PERRYcontinues his post-GOP debate repair effort by offering his top 10 excuses on The Late Show with David Letterman, with this zinger no. 1
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